Final Reflection of Cultural Spaces

After a few weeks of closely monitoring lower Fairfield County, I’ve concluded that it is a good representation of America what with its diversity, generally good values, and its proximity to New York City (a major plus).  In Darien where I live, and a few towns around me like New Canaan and Greenwich (all three of which are on the list of America’s top 50 richest towns) the ideals and standards are slightly higher than those of more urban towns around us.  For example, in Darien school and college is such a competitive process that I’ve heard of people I know being hospitalized due to all of the stress of their schoolwork and the pressure put on them by their parents.  In other cases, I’ve seen mothers say to their daughters to “Do whatever necessary in order to get a good score on the SAT, cheating included.” Such unethical morals do not display those who have them in a positive light and further expand upon my point that competitiveness is particularly dense in this area.  Though scholastic standards are high, cultural awareness and appreciation is low.  Despite living in such an ethnically diverse area and with New York City just 45 minutes away, many in Fairfield County are a part of probably the most global part of America but they do not take advantage of this.  Instead of learning about the world and “being one with it” many choose to do the same old same old. 

Even though the Disney film Brave have nothing much to do with Fairfield County, nor its ideals, its just the type of movie needed in this Mom-eat-daughter; daughter-eat-mom world.  In this Disney hit, it stresses the importance of a familial bond, particularly that of a mother and daughter.  When Princess Merida changes her mom into a bear instead of changing her mind (wrong spell from a witch- what can you do?) she must change her back before her mother is stuck as a bear forever.  It’s when Merida thinks she’s about to lose her mother that she realises how much she loves and appreciates her just for who she is.  The end of the movie shows Merida and her family together, not fighting, and living harmoniously.  I’m sure I’m not the only one who wanted to have a better relationship with my mom after watching this.             

The double standards in Fairfield county might be more apparent than in other places.  For example, many fathers in Darien commute to and work in the city everyday, while the majority of the mothers stay home and be with the kids.  That isn't to say that mothers don't have careers; my mother has a job, many of my friends do, heck, my good friends mother is one of the top lawyers in the state.  With the stereotypical, "Honey, I'm home," ideals it's been harder the step out of the double standards to let the old gender roles break down.  Why can't guys to laundry? Girls certainly have enough rage to knock people down in football.  Before F.C. can focus on being more global, it needs to work on making itself a better, more equal and democratic place to live

To conclude, before Fairfield County works on getting all its kids into Ivies, it should work on improving itself from within and then working to conquer the world.

The Lack of Culture Appreciation in the Melting Pot

If you’ve ever been to Europe, you know that it’s drenched in culture.  London, Edinburgh, Paris, Rome, Copenhagen, Berlin, St. Petersburg, wherever.  Take Paris for example: it’s the city of lights, love, food, art, and culture. Paris is a Petri dish with people of hundreds of different ethnicities, languages, and history.  This is shown in all of the different restaurants (all of which are amazing; you honestly can’t go to a bad restaurant in Paris) and sections of Paris.  The same is true with London, a place with which I am very well acquainted, having lived there for five months and going many other times.  Though America is known to be a melting pot, and it is to some extent, it isn’t nearly on the same level as Europe for cultural appreciation. 

When most girls turn 16, they want a sweet sixteen, the famed and glorious American tradition.  The sweet sixteen poses as a sort of rite of passage, from childhood to womanhood, like the quinceñera in Spanish culture.  I however wanted to go to the Metropolitan Museum of Art with my best friend and see the History of Turkish art exhibit (it was seriously cool, you should’ve seen the tapestries and pottery). When most girls turn seventeen, they want a car, expensive perfume, or a nice expensive, designer handbag.  I wanted tickets to the ballet, La Bayadere, the story of a woman warrior from India and her battle against love.   Okay, so I’m the exception to most teenage girls.  I’m not saying I’m “not like other girls.” Trust me, Chanel No. 5 would be a great birthday present for me (my birthday is tomorrow in case you were wondering what to get me) but I’d rather ask for something that can’t be wrapped, but rather something that I can have wrapped up in my mind for the rest of my life. 

Perhaps its because I’ve been to Europe more times than I’ve been to places in the United States, or that my parents both lived and worked there for more than three decades, but I can’t help admire Europeans for their admiration for culture and the arts.  In Paris alone there are over 153 museums.  The love of art in Europe is apparent in its murals, exquisite architecture, and history.  In the majority of European countries, the idea of cutting the arts budget (in schools) is shocking.  The arts budget in America is .1% of 1% of the entire budget and is continually cut from schools.  My own school had to drop their fall play because they couldn’t afford it.  (A real loss; I’d have been a fine actress).  Anytime I’ve ever been to a museum on a class fieldtrip, I’ve noticed that most kids look at a painting for about 2 seconds then start to chat with their friends.  The only time I’ve observed a student observe a painting or other piece of art for more than two seconds is in the Greek and Roman galleries, which prominently feature statues of naked people.  

Americans are generally self-centered and care more about the welfare of America rather than the world’s.  It’s this America-centric mentality that's keeping culture out of the U.S.  Sure we include other cultures in our country, and sometimes celebrate them, but they aren’t as valued here as they are in other places. Typically, I’ve noticed that when we have foreign exchange students, they are encouraged to assimilate into American culture and to not do the things that they normally would in their home countries.  This lack of respect for other cultures can damage the  view that other countries have on us.  We say that we’re the melting pot, but we don’t walk the walk. 

If you checked my iPod, you would find that it is 50% alternative and 50% classical.  There’s something so appealing about Tchaikovsky and Chopin and Dvořák to me.  I’ve been listening to classical music, people will ask my what I’m listening to, and when I tell them, they always ask me why.  Well why not?  It’s relaxing, calming, and it sounds beautiful, unlike the autotuned wailing of so-called professional singers.

In my English class, we read Midnight’s Children by Salman Rushdie, a worldwide acclaimed bestselling author, well known to the entire world, except the United States because if you’re not American, then we don't care.  My parents and uncle knew who he was and had even read a few of his books.  Well how can he be so famous if I, and lots of other Americans, haven’t heard of him?  This unintentional ignorance comes from the under appreciation of foreign culture in America and it’s a serious problem.  It’s fun to read Shakespeare and other English-based books, but it would really open students’ minds to read literature from around the world, and not just the English-speaking world.  Anywhere you go in the world, you can’t get away from English, so Americans should value other culture as well.

Why can’t we take art history instead of art?  Could they offer tai chi or fencing instead of dodgeball?  Why not go to the Renaissance Faire for extra credit?  There are so many ways that schools could incorporate foreign culture into our daily lives, but they don’t.  The world is becoming an increasingly smaller place and us Americans can’t keep hiding from the outside world for long.  And when the walls between America and the rest of the world break down, most of us won’t be prepared. 

The Revered in America

The American Dream. Being President. Getting into Harvard. Getting into any Ivy League or good college.  Getting a job.  Getting good grades.

There are many aspects in American culture that are highly revered, like the ones listed above.  Of course, none of these in and of themselves are bad, but there is a lot of bad pressure for people to accomplish them.  Not everyone can get into Harvard.  Not everyone can be the president.  Those are the more astronomical goals that parents have for their kids, or that the kids have for themselves.  More realistic goals would be to get good grades and to work your hardest.

Having a good, strong work ethic is highly valued.  It’s all apart of the formula for the American Dream: work hard, do your best, don’t give up, and it’ll all pay off someday and be worth it.  For good ethics, you’re not supposed to cheat: it’s unethical.  However, that doesn’t stop the thousands of students each year who cheat on tests like the SATs and the ACTs, which are a big weight in your college package.  Some kids don’t care about cheating; as long as they get the grade, it wouldn’t put one scratch on their conscience.  In September I was attending a meeting for the SAT class I was going to take and the woman speaking was stressing the importance of a good score and how if your grades weren’t top-top that having a strong SAT score would be very appealing to colleges.  I accidentally heard the mother next to me whisper to her daughter, “I don’t care if you have to cheat.  You have to get at least a 2200 if you even want to think about Georgetown.”  At first I was shocked.  What parents encourages cheating? Especially on the SAT where your cheating not only effects you but everyone else in the BUILDING you took it in.  Your selfishness would put at least 100 other people in jeopardy. Last time I checked, colleges didn’t revere cheating. 

If you’ve ever watched American television, you would have noticed that for whatever reason, we have a thing for “reality” shows.  Keeping up with the Kardashians, Teen Mom, The Bachelor, Jersey Shore, Honey Boo Boo, etc. These people have absolutely no talent and don’t really offer anything to the world, except a glimpse at their drama-stricken lives.  But we still care about them, worship them, and keep watching them.  How are those people revered in American society?  They don’t contribute anything but their lifestyles become the epitome of what we, “average citizens,” should strive for.  They don’t have any qualities that Americans are supposed to admire, yet to many, they are Gods.

In my opinion America does hold some good values, such as working hard and being able to change your life, though many ideals what were once revered in a good way have now become warped.  For example, of the girl at the meeting, the goal of getting a high score on the SAT is a very commendable goal, but if you don’t believe enough in yourself to do this and you therefore resort to cheating, then your honest goal has become twisted.  Paul Revere definitely wouldn’t revere that. 

Double Standards in American Society

There are many ways in American culture in which gender inequality is very apparent, the most obvious being those of double standards.  Double standards have become such a norm in our society that when they occur no one questions them because it’s what accepted and that is the problem with them (any many other things that reinforce inequality between genders).  When you start to notice what’s acceptable for one gender and isn’t for another, it really sticks out to you and to be honest, it’s rather ridiculous. But what's considered acceptable for a gender role? 

I was at Starbucks last week and the kid in front of me in line was wearing a purple shirt (it was a really nice shade of pale lilac- I nearly asked him where he got it, but what was said next stopped me in my tracks) and the two obnoxious teenage boys behind me were joking that this kid, who was probably nine or 10, was gay and how only girls wear purple and when a guy wears purple it means he isn’t “a man for not wearing blue.” Not only did this thoroughly piss me off, but it was so stupid.  So what if this kid wants to wear purple? It looks great on him and doesn't say anything about his character except for the fact that he has a great taste in coloured shirts.  People should wear whatever they want without having people question their sexuality or whatever be cause of it.  Whether or not that kid was gay, it would't've mattered.  Who said boys couldn't wear lilac? George Washington?

In every “chick-flick” I’ve ever seen, there’s a hardworking woman who is great at her job and works hard, but she’s always portrayed as being a bitch simply because she works hard and is assertive.  She usually doesn’t have a boyfriend because she’s “too focused on her work,” which is rather admirable, but is always questioned why she hasn’t settled down yet with a nice guy.  Whereas, if a guy is too focused on his work, he’s seen as dedicated and when he says he isn’t ready to start a family the general response is something along the lines of, “That’s really cool for you, wanting to establish yourself.  You should focus on work and being successful rather than jumping off to have a family.” Why should a woman be criticised for working hard by being “selfish” that she hasn’t started a family yet. Why is it so wrong for a woman to want to have a career?  The conflict of the ages addressed in many movies is love or career.  But why not both?

Nothing is more fun than a night out on the town with your friends.  Getting dressed up, going to a glamorous  restaurant, and having a fun evening is such an appealing thing to do after a hard week at work.  I know that when I go out to dinner with my friends, I really take the time to choose a nice outfit and to spend more time than usual on my makeup because its fun and a relaxing way to start the evening.  When girls go out in their cute dresses, sassy heels, and incredible makeup, they’re seen as trampy or easy whereas men are seen as classy and sophisticated.  How does wearing a dress make me a slut? I just wanted to look super cute and have fun with my friends?  Not only is the woman seen as trampy, but vain as well.  Maybe it’s possible that she was trying to look nice and impress herself rather than you Mr. Misogynist.

What I’m trying to say is that these double standards (and dozens of others) have become incorporated in society as normal, perfectly acceptable things.  Their acceptance is rooted in age-old ideals that man are superior to women and the certain duties each has.  Women are supposed to get married have children; clean the house, etc. etc.  Men are supposed to get a job, be successful, support a family, and be a strong, hearty role model.  But women can’t be because it’s dinner time.

All the Single (Disney) Ladies (Lady)

What comes to mind when you hear “Disney Princess?” Its probably something along the lines of pretty, wears a dress, animal sidekick of some sort, good singer, and gets the guy in the end.  That’s the old Disney.  Nowadays Disney has really stepped up in broadening their definition of a Disney Princess. In 2007 Disney introduced its first black princess, Tiana in The Princess and the Frog. Tiana, however, still sticks with the traditional Disney Princess mold by marrying the prince in the end.  The only Disney Princess who stays blissfully single is Merida from Brave. 

Merida’s story is truly unique: her story doesn’t revolve around her getting the guy, but rather getting away from the three guys who her parents are pushing at her.  At 15, Princess Merida (of an ancient Scottish clan) is being forced to marry and that doesn’t sit too well with this archer extraordinaire.  Merida and her mother (the Queen) constantly bicker over Merida’s general princessy-ness (or lack of) and the princess decides to get a spell to change her mother’s mind on her getting married.  Instead of changing her mind, Merida changes her mother into a bear.  The movie focuses on Merida trying to change her mother back into a human before her mother is stuck as a bear forever.  It’s when Merida realizes she might not get her mom back when she realized how much she loves and appreciates her mother and how badly she took her for granted.  What really sticks out in this movie isn’t Merida’s flaming curly hair (though it certainly is noticeable) but rather the intimate mother-daughter relationship and how delicate it is.  As a teenager watching this, I really could relate as my mother and I fight all the time.  It’s the mother-daughter relationship in this movie that makes it the first in all of Disney’s 53 animated films really relatable to the average kid.  I can’t say that I’ve ever been a mermaid or a girl with 50 feet of hair. In my opinion, this movie can be more relatable to teenagers because as a teenager you go to battle with your parents over everything and when you’re a kid you can’t really appreciate your parents.  After watching this movie, I stopped fighting with my mom and I appreciated her more by telling her I loved her and trying to be a better daughter to my mother. 

Disney really stepped out of their box with this hit, however it got odd criticism from the more conservative critics who said that by having Merida reject being married at 15, that Disney was promoting lesbianism.  Is it an odd idea that girls DON’T want to be married at 15?  I’m 16 (almost 17) and I don’t want to be married anytime soon.  Does that mean I’m a lesbian?  Wow, I had no idea. 

Though most Disney Princesses have been married at relatively young ages (or what seems young in today’s society), it’s refreshing that Merida can choose to fall in love when she wants.  Some say that Merida needs a man’s protection, but if you’ve seen her shoot her bow and arrow, you’d know that she’s perfectly capable of defending herself, her archery skills comparable to those of Katniss Everdeen and Robin Hood.

So for future reference Disney, if you feel like putting out another movie about a badass-princess who don’t-need-no-man, my wallet will be open.

What Defines Ownership

With Valentine’s Day somewhat around the corner, cards, candies, and bears will be popping up with the phrase ,“Be Mine.”  What would qualify something (in this case a person) to be the property of someone else?  By this definition, by “being someone’s” it means that you have strong feelings for one another and cherish that other person.  To be someone’s completely, you give up your heart and soul to them and love them unconditionally.  You give yourself up to that person and you belong to them and they belong to you.  That ownership correlates to a sense of self because you have a bit of that person in you and a bit of you is attached to them.  On the other hand, Holly Golightly in Truman Capote’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s famously said, “People don’t belong to people.  I’m not going to let anyone put me in a cage.”  Holly thinks that by being in love with someone that you belong to them and she is against this is idea so she keeps ignoring that it is true.  When you love someone, you DO belong to them and it can’t really be helped.  Think of the songs, like Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours,” which say that people belong to other people because they love them etc., etc. 

The definitions of ownership for people and objects are different.  For objects they’re things that enhance your life or things that you need.  Lot’s of things have places where you can write to whom the object belongs like coats or calculators.  That’s putting a name on something and making a statement that it belongs to you.  But with people its different.  You can’t put your name on someone else (well actually people have in the forms of tattoos but that isn’t what I mean) so that everyone knows that they belong to you.  People can’t be claimed in such a way, however they can be claimed in the ways of the heart.  I know that sounds corny but it is true. 

Your belongings don’t define you.  If you have very little doesn't mean you’re poor and having a lot doesn’t mean you’re affluent.  Instead actions, thoughts, and opinions define who you are and contribute to your sense of self.  I don’t think that belongings have anything to do with your sense of self.  Your sense of self comes from who you are, how you view yourself, what you think as well as the people you surround yourself.